Editor's note: Andy Norris is a writer and filmmaker living in Tillamook County. Select writings can be found at https://smartfish.substack.com/

The Greater Idaho movement shows no signs of abating, and the democratic process of changing the borders of Oregon and Idaho took another step forward on Tuesday as Bill SJM2, sponsored by Dennis Linthicum, became public. Though the bill seems to simply invite the governors of Idaho and Oregon to meet and discuss the possibility of a Greater Idaho, if the meeting actually happens it would signal that the issue is indeed being taken seriously. That said, something tells me Governor Kotek would somehow miss that meeting.

The current rift between woke Oregon and conservative Oregon is wider and deeper than Hells Canyon. Indeed, conservative Oregon has watched Democrats, who exclusively govern Portland, destroy a world-class city in just a few short years. Portland is now known worldwide as a crime-ridden hell-hole run by tweakers and teenage gang members of color. Fifteen years ago, a friend of mine studied the success and livability of Portland in a civics class at an Australian university. Portland is now known worldwide as an absolute failure: The City That Works doesn’t work anymore.

I drove a taxi in Portland over the last seven years. I saw every ‘green’ demolition. Old Portland buildings turned to rubble so new buildings designed by and for Californians could be erected, most with no parking and a virtue-signaling solar pad on the roof. In Vietnam the mantra was ‘destroy the village to save the country’, in Portland the mantra is ‘destroy the city to save the polar bear.’ It’s part of that woke guilt thing -- all Americans are racist or otherwise bad and don’t deserve to live in livable cities. And indeed Portland has been and continues to be destroyed by Democrats. During my years in the taxi, driving all over that city every day, I saw every homeless camp erected, some of the areas packed with stolen cars, dozens of stolen bikes, as well as stolen and burned-out boats. There are areas of North Portland that rival the Bronx, N.Y. of my youth. I saw terrorists attempt to burn down the Portland Police Bureau headquarters nightly for an entire summer, the thugs being cheered on by Mayor Ted Wheeler and just about every Democrat in city, county and state government. Even the corrupt bio-tech priest Anthony Fauci encouraged the terrorists, and suggested they stand less than six-feet apart, that it was permissible to break quarantine, and that they should protest to their hearts content -- or at least until the election of Lyin’ Biden.

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Having lived back and forth between Tillamook County and Portland, I have also watched Portland advancing across the coast range. This trend of city folk bringing their Babylonian hell to the country is happening all over the American West, and the popularity of Kevin Costner’s ‘Yellowstone’, which sees Montana ranchers pitted against developers from the city, shows this phenomenon isn’t unique to Oregon. Developers and real estate agents have taken over the city government in Manzanita and are building three-hundred new, woke, ‘cluster housing’ units in what was once a small, cozy beach town. And a billionaire developer from California has reportedly bought two of the largest dairy farms in the Nehalem Valley. Look for more woke ‘cluster housing’ for leftist/communist Californians to move into. And if you go to Seaside keep your hands on your purse and keep your car doors locked. The tweaker crowd has arrived out of Portland and that city has an increasing number of abandoned RVs and drugged-out folks wandering along Highway 101.

And herein lies my problem with the Greater Idaho movement. Why the hell are ya’ll gonna abandoned the rest of us? That is not okay! Please don’t leave us, please hear me out first! I have an outstanding idea! Instead of Greater Idaho, how about Lesser Portland? Please?? Let me explain.

A separation of governance is clearly needed, and I think I figured out a way to make it happen. I’ve crafted this idea to make it most-favorable to the Democrats of Portland, so they can continue to destroy their former world-class city in rainbow-colored peace while leaving the rest of the state alone. My idea is modeled after the CHAZ movement up in Seattle. Did you hear about it, during the height of the domestic terrorist attacks from the Black Lives Matter communists and Antifa fascists? CHAZ was great! It was an area of Seattle up on Capitol Hill that was designated by the domestic terrorists as the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone. The first thing the anti-border crowd did was erect a border so only CHAZ sympathizers -- woke folk -- were allowed inside. Smart! Borders, great idea! Anyway, CHAZ was a riot -- excuse the pun -- with the then mayor of Seattle, Jenny Durkan, even likening the terrorist camp to the summer of love of 1969. But CHAZ only lasted a couple of weeks. The terrorists chased out the local police, leaving the precinct empty, and the crime and the murder and the rape and all that stuff quickly made the utopia unlivable. Four shootings later, one involving teenagers, the cops moved in and CHAZ was no more.

But I know the defiant leftists can still make their woke utopia work, and I have developed a potential framework. First, our new utopia needs a name. Personally, I like Wokeland. It just rolls off the tongue, like ‘Homeland’ of the Third Reich. And perhaps, one day, Wokeland will become the ‘progressive’ version of the mystical land of Thule. Second, like CHAZ, we need to erect borders around Wokeland. This wall will not be built to keep Portlanders inside Wokeland. They will still be free to leave their safe space and spend their tourist dollars in rural Oregon. The wall around Wokeland will be purposed to keep rural Oregonians out. Genius, right? Hell, most of us don’t go the hipster paradise anymore anyhow, let them wallow in their self-righteousness in peace. To keep Wokeland pure, they can scan QR codes on every phone of those wanting entry into Wokeland, and they can requiring a social credit score that nobody in rural Oregon could ever possibly achieve, in good conscience. Those running Wokeland can mask their children all day at school, they can require vaccines to play pickelball, they can ban the PPB’s gun task force and gang task force because they are racist, and then they can revel in their anti-cop quadrupled homicide rate. The woke folk can ban all cars, mandate more bike lanes that nobody uses because they are actually purposed for Big Tech droid delivery, and they can buy ten-thousand more tents for the tweakers that break into their houses and steal their cars, etc., etc.

The creation of Wokeland will allow woke folk to continue their ground-breaking experiment in civics without any encumbrance from the conservative minds to the east. As the ridiculous pro-gangster, pro-tweaker Measure 114 shows, there is a clear need to separate the governance of the woke form the governance of the conservative. The creation of Wokeland is an idea that should be explored, and at the very least an exploratory committee should be formed. Oregonians can come together and make Wokeland happen, we can do it, I know we can, and then the woke folk can continue down their spiraling drain of failed ideology without taking the rest of Oregon with them.


--Andy Norris

Post Date: 2023-01-21 11:25:22

Last Update: 2023-01-21 11:51:46